My First Day of Teaching Martial Arts.

(Hopefully, if you are reading my blogs, you have an idea of who I am and what interests me.)
-INTRO-
As a youth, I pursued my interest in martial arts. Due to circumstances that were not entirely in my control, my ability to continue my training was halted, possibly forever. Upon returning to Walla Walla, I have found an incredible dojo and my entire family has been fortunate enough to gain wisdom from two intensely devoted instructors. Thank you Master Sensei Steve Smith, I look forward to every class with eager anticipation!
-END INTRO-
I have been on this road for a while now and, though the journey has barely just begun, the trip has been an exciting one and every day that I feel I know what lies ahead, another attraction appears over the horizon. When I set out on this road, I had an idea where the destination was and I was even able to plot out the course which would most efficiently get me to my goal.
Through my journey, I have been fortunate enough to experience the daunting chore of public performance; the pride of conquering entire choreographies of moves, strikes and blocks which we call forms; I managed to pour sweat and survive many tests of skill which mark a teacher's approvement and subsequently, a student's advancement; the will pushing loss of blood and stamina through training to improve solid fighting ability, both in the cage and on the street; and most importantly, I was able to stand as a teammate and assist (and gain assistance from) my wife, children and fellow students so they could rise closer to our ideal of perfection in the art.
My travel has taken me out of my realm of comfort, both emotionally and physically. We have even trained outside the dojo, deep in the mountains, in order to train in more natural environments and gain a stronger sense of self.
In just the last year, I have done some things that I never imagined but tonight's class was one that I was not even remotely prepared for.
Each class brings out my weakness which promptly streams from every pore and rolls to the mat and, even though I'm pushed differently and diligently every night, I feel the desire to continue training after class has ended, which is always too soon. I gain a thirty minute cool down while my youngest girl gets on the mat and explodes with a brilliance that most could only hope to witness, much less, become.
During my daughter's class, a young and lonely student of the following class asked if I would be watching him perform in his class just like I watch my own daughter in her own. I could tell he desperately wanted to connect with someone and there was no one to support him so I offered my attention but this was unneccesary as our Master Instructor approached me and asked if I would be willing to teach this young man's class.
Immediately, I began questioning my own ability and my confidence was taking blow after blow from the villanous monster known as doubt but we worked through it together and I gladly accepted the offer.
I was no longer the student and was now a teacher, even if only for thirty minutes. It was at that moment of realization that the wash of responsibility drenched me and my alertness level had been heightened to the stratosphere.
The next half hour, I worked very closely with this young man. We built strength and precision. I challenged him physically and he challenged me spiritually. We pushed through techniques and forms. My mind constantly traveled to memories of substitute teachers in middle school through the comparisons and my leniency level was challenged. This intelligent young man was emotionally checking boundaries and testing personality weaknesses to encourage the physical ease of his training and I knew that, as an initiate instructor, I would be a failure if I allowed this to happen but if I was forceful and stern that I would lose my first pupil forever. I was holding the future in my hands, not just mine but this boy's devotion as well. What was I to do? I took a chance and searched for closer connection to this child by digging for his interests that might motivate him to excell of his own accord so we took a moment and talked.
Once we built a solid relationship, our class motored on with freight train intensity and we no longer needed to struggle for control which encouraged his full support and even offered up some genuine smiles through the class from more than just the two of us but also the bystanders that I suddenly realized were very interested in our progress. By the end of the class, I felt confident that he took some valuable lessons home with him and I could tell that he no longer felt that sense of isolation that filled him before class. He got what he was after, the chance to show his skill to an interested peer and to feel accomplished in a field he enjoyed but has not gotten much support in.
We all left the school and his glow was possibly the brightest today. I was proud of him and told him as much as I thanked him for teaching me today in what has been my most valuable lesson thus far.
Experiences like this are the exact reason I purusued a future in teaching and my school, Beginner's Mind Dojo, would not even exist without the valuable experiences I learned from this young man.